The Privilege of Space (and a Lot of Trial and Error)
Looking back, I was in a privileged position when I first slipped into leadership. I was given the one thing most new managers never get: space.
Space to learn, space to experiment, and - perhaps most importantly - space to get things wrong without immediately being frogmarched into HR.
Instead of being told to “just manage” (whatever that means), I was encouraged to research and explore how teams could operate without endless process documents or the kind of micromanagement where your boss asks for a “quick update” every half hour.
That freedom allowed me to test things, tweak them, and see firsthand what actually worked with real people, rather than just in theory.
Books were my first port of call. Susan Wheelan’s Creating Effective Teams, Jim Collins’ Good to Great and Patrick Lencioni’s The Advantage were like someone switching on the lights.
I realised that good teams don’t magically happen; they’re designed, nurtured, and sometimes repaired. I read loads of other books too (not all of them as good), and whenever I could, I’d go and sit inside other businesses to observe.
Spoiler: the glossy ones that looked perfect from the outside usually had cracks on the inside, and the crappy ones often had gold hidden under the chaos.
Another significant influence was my mentor. They shared my belief that people should be given autonomy, but that it only works when paired with real clarity around expectations. It’s not enough to say “do your best” - you have to be clear about what “best” looks like. That was a game-changer.
Then came Hyper Island. I spent a considerable amount of time with them and even flew to Sweden for their UGL course. It gave me not just new tools, but also a completely different mindset. Plus, the Swedes take coffee breaks (fika) seriously, which is something we could all adopt more of in the workplace.
I also flirted with agile, lean, and other modern team methodologies. Some stuck. Some fell flat on their face. Agile stand-ups at 9am are only energising if people haven’t been up until midnight working on a deadline.
But the experimentation taught me what worked for my teams rather than just copying what the textbooks said.
Working at a business during a period of real scaling - the kind where you go from “everyone knows everyone” to “who’s that person sitting three desks away?” almost overnight.
That’s where I saw just how vital autonomy and self-organisation are. You simply can’t scale by adding more layers of management and more process; people need to be trusted to figure things out.
Of course, this doesn’t mean anarchy (though at times it felt close).
What worked was co-designing structures with the people who actually used them, rather than imposing systems from above.
From all of this came the idea of an operating system. A framework that pulled together the best bits I’d learned - clarity, autonomy, trust, structure - and turned it into something that could actually embed, not just look good on a slide.
Alongside that, I couldn’t help but notice how many people around me were being badly trained for leadership.
Too much theory, not enough practice. Too much “here’s a model” and not enough “here’s how to survive your first conflict conversation without crying in the toilets.” It made me want to give back, to coach others through the mess, and to offer a bit of the support I’d been so lucky to have.
Things I Learned Along the Way
Experiment with different methods. Agile, lean, or something cobbled together over coffee - try it. Just don’t expect it to be perfect the first time.
Read widely - even the odd crappy blog. Sometimes the most helpful insight comes from someone ranting online rather than a polished bestseller.
Self-reflect before criticising others. Yes, it’s painful. But nine times out of ten, your team’s “issue” is actually a mirror pointing back at you.
Everyone is different. That brilliant system you designed for one team might completely flop with another. That’s not failure, that’s reality.
Find a mentor. Not a cheerleader, but someone who challenges you, pushes you, and occasionally calls out your nonsense.
Avoiding conflict is not leadership. My inner people-pleaser hated this, but clarity under challenging conversations is far kinder than letting issues fester.
Frameworks give freedom. Paradoxically, having structure creates more space for autonomy. It’s like guardrails on a motorway: you don’t notice them until they’re gone.
Why?
Leadership, for me, has never been about following one perfect playbook. It’s been about experimenting, making plenty of mistakes, and slowly piecing together an approach that actually works for the people in front of me.
I was lucky. I had time, mentors, and space to try (and fail) without it being the end of the world.
Most people don’t get that. Which is why I feel so strongly about passing it on - coaching, sharing, and helping others avoid at least some of the potholes I fell into.
Because the truth is, leadership isn’t about being the cleverest person in the room. It’s about setting the conditions for other people to succeed. And if you can do that - with a few experiments, some reflection, and maybe the occasional Negroni.